For Thy Good

Yesterday was quite the emotional roller coaster. The ups and downs were constantly shifting in absolute extremes. By the end of the day, however, I found myself sobbing in my Dad's arms, somehow having reverted back to a nine-year-old child.

I guess the stress of rent money, and a nearly broken car, along with too few, and very inconsistant hours at a difficult job, and then when my Dad finally gets a chance to visit I don't get to spend time with him because of said inconsistant hours, and the free time I do have is spent helping him attend to business... I guess it all just crashed down on me at once. Or something.

You see, I love my Dad. I can talk to him about anything, and fear no snide remark, or indifferent attitude. He takes everything I say with a calm, gentle seriousness. I haven't had that lately (and talking on the phone doesn't cut it) because he's a truck driver, and when he gets time off, naturally he visits the family back in Idaho.

I got so excited to see him when he came to my apartment late Sunday night, but I had to go to work early the next morning, so I couldn't talk too long. Then, only a few hours after getting off work on Monday, it was time to say goodbye. All the day long I had struggled to stay cheerful and energetic at work, and while I succeeded there, by the time I got home I was totally emotionally drained.

Add into the equation that I got pulled over by a cop for not signaling (which I couldn't, because the signaler just broke a few days back) Monday night, and... well, when my Dad was walking out the door I just broke down and sobbed. Mostly, I didn't want him to leave. I wanted my Dad.

So what did he do?

He took me gently to the couch, sat me down, and listened. That was all. For two hours I poured out my heart to him. I explained my frustrations, stresses, hurts, confusion, anger, awkwardness, and EVERYTHING that has been building up inside for months. I told him things I hadn't even realized were buried beneath my cheerful exterior. By the time the tears had semi-dried, he had only shown me love, consideration, and a father's gentle affection. It was amazing. I love my Dad.

He gave me a blessing of strength and endurance, which I will give my all to fulfill.

After he finally left I cried for hours. Today I still feel like crying, but his selfless love last night has already made everything so much less daunting, so much less important. I still feel sad, a bit depressed, and very overwhelmed, but it will be okay. Somehow, with my Dad's love, and also the love of the Lord, I can overcome all obstacles, and I will be a better person for it.


"All these things shall give thee experience, and shall be for thy good." D&C 122:7

I thank my Father in Heaven every night for my Dad, as well as for my Mom, and all the other good examples I have in my life. Without them I would be lost.