Five months, three weeks, two days, and counting...

My older sister Heidi has been serving a mission in New York for the past year. She and I are very close, we share everything, so it's been a little tough without her to talk to. Still, I'm very proud of all she's doing and how much she has grown.

Heidi has always had a yard-long mane of golden hair; one of her distinctive traits and the envy of girls around her. However, to prove how seriously she is taking her mission, and because she was tired of being known for her hair instead of what she taught, she cut her gorgeous hair to her shoulders. Now that's dedication.

She finally has the return date. April 17th 2008. The countdown begins, and I have placed a ticker at the bottom of this blog to keep track. In the meantime, Heidi plans to continue losing herself in the work--she'll leave the counting to me.

Today

"Life is good, life is great, life is unbelievable. Life is hard, life is cruel, life is so beautiful!" ~LFO

There are days when life generally sucks. Today is not such a day.

Livin' life, and lovin' it.

"...In Mysterious Ways"

"So, tell me something. Why is it that even girls write about guys?"

I had just finished reading an excerpt from my book to Cameron, and he posed this question. I pondered it for a moment, almost pointing out that actually a lot of girls did write about girls, but finally I answered.

"For me, guys are easier to portray. Somehow I find it harder to distinguish a girl's personality. Guys are just easier to work with."

Cameron was silent for a moment. "So... basically, even to girls, girls are a mystery."

I laughed. "Yes, exactly! We've long stopped attempting to understand ourselves. We just are. We probably won't understand the mysterious ways of women until we reach the Other Side. We'll have to ask God, 'how do women work?' --And of course, he'll refer us to his wife!"

Growing Pains

I have recently come to understand why teething infants are so grumpy. And I sympathize. For the past two years my wisdom teeth have been working their way up through my gums. Unfortunately said teeth haven't got the room required inside my tiny mouth, but are attempting to surface regardless.

Until recently I have coped well, as the pain always came and went quickly. But right now the pain is intense. I can't swallow without pain shooting down my jaw. My cheeks are swollen, my ears have been bleeding, my head is swimming in severe headaches. Only a heavy dose of ibuprofen kept me alive at work yesterday. I don't want to take pills every day, so I suffered with the pain all of today. But it's only getting worse.

Why don't I see a dentist?

Frankly, I can't afford it. Maybe when I move, and have less expenses, I can handle payments, but right now, all I can do is grin (well, no, that rather hurts) and bear. Even though all I want to do is curl up in bed, after making my room absolutely pitch-dark, and listen to the sound of silence (not the song).

Ah well. If wishes were fishes...

...There'd be no fishes left. But, that's beside the point.

The BIG Question

"What sort of music do you like?"

This is the biggest question of all. Bigger than any other question posed by Man. The answer to this question decides whether you get that second date or enter that social circle. You have one of two answers to give, only these two could possibly be right. But which is it?

"I like everything."

Or,

"I like country."

It seems that one of these two is mandatory, if you wish to be "accepted" by whomever posed the question.In fear of sounding nerdy, ignorant, or narrow-minded the general response is the first: Everything.

Admittedly I have given that answer on many occasions myself. But recently I was struck by a revelation: I really don't like everything. In fact, I'm very particular about music.

I listen to classical music, such as symphonies.Big Band from the 30's and 40's. I adore 50's music. I enjoy 70's, and some 80's as well. I have many favorite from the various genres of today: New Age, Alternative, Pop and even some Metal. Heck, I've even enjoyed a little Hip-Hop. But, thinking on it, it comes down to the song itself, not its genre. If the music moves me, inspires me, or holds my interest--then I am sold. The melody, lyrics, emotion; these are what music is about. Not what is most popular, most irreverent, most catchy.

The next time someone poses the Big Question, I have my response ready.

"I like the good stuff."

Thought Patterns

My false hopes that this was just a dream were beginning to falter as the last light from the setting sun faded into true night. Such detail, such pain, such length. How could it possibly be a dream? Then again, what other logical explanation was there?

My eyes widened as the thought struck me for the very first time. Was I dead? Was it possible that when I slipped into that puddle, some random car slammed into my body and crushed my every bone? Or perhaps I had hit my head so hard it caused some kind of complication to the brain, and I died during surgery. Could this strange, mystical, pain-filled, tree-infested, furry-critter-populated, sharp-toothed wonderland possibly be Hell?

After all, I was a very good liar, and my mother always told me where liars went when they died. Now I had reason to believe her—when it was too late.


---
As I was running through the first chapters of Paradise? I stumbled upon this brief passage and, for the first time, it struck me how much this little bit of writing truly sums up Key's way of thinking. After reading, I quickly went to the end of the document to compare his thought patterns and the changes therein.

Wow.

Meet Key.
Charming youth, isn't he? :D

A Testament of Hope

The rain has fallen very heavily today. The sky is a dreary gray. The mountains are shrouded by threatening clouds. Would it be mental to admit that, contrary to most, this sort of atmosphere makes me happy?

Because it does.

Rain moves me, inspires me. I hear it patter on the sidewalk, on the fallen leaves, in the puddles, and I smile. The sound of rushing water, the knowledge that the storm is cleansing the earth, making things grow, washing away the dead and dirty.

Nighttime is like that as well. Bleak, gloomy, shadowed. And above are glistening stars, like a testament that states with surety: hope shines no matter what, cutting through darkness, ultimately stronger--

--A testament of hope in these times of darkness the world is facing. Such symbols of strength stand as beacons for all to see and follow. Like the clean rain falling from darkened skies, or the stars that pierce through the night, there is always hope, always courage, always a way.

That is, of course, the reason our Father in Heaven made them so.

Why IS That?

I don't know why it is, but for some reason when something becomes remotely popular/addictive I seem to feel the urge to try it out.

Well. No. Let me rephrase.
Better, yet. I'll give an example.

Web comics:
-Now, I can draw only a little, and definitely not anything in sequence and with any sort of action. Yet when I read online comics, I get these crazy-fun ideas for my own comics, promptly grab a pad of paper, sketch half way through an entire page, then either become discouraged because my drawing sucks, or lose my interest, OR lose my train of thought. Yet I keep on forgetting that and always try (and fail) again. Argh.

Other such sporadic bursts of creativity have included skateboarding, writing music (ha!), photography, macromedia flash, and many more.

Maybe it's not just me. Or maybe it is. I dunno. What is it that drives me to attempt that which I know is something I'll never actually stick with?

There have been exceptions. I'm much better at ice skating than I thought I could be (never fell down when I was on the ice for the first time!) and I enjoy Tennis. Writing was not something I foresaw in my youth, yet that is now my passion.

Perhaps these urges are there to get me to actually creep out of my self-built limitations. Perhaps they are there to make me grow, seek, experience. In the which case I am grateful, if slightly saddened that so many more things are out there than I will ever master.

Oh! Here comes another web comic idea. They just never cease...